we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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