I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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