and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
