i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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