the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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