two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
