why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we're making bets on your personal life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
