no you cant smoke seaweed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
