one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
