do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
