It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
