I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
where does the pee come out of this thing
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
