Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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