I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
