My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
