stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
