I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
