my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He did a backflip because drugs
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