grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
