your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
