I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Your shirt... Was in my pants
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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