Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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