I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it was like eating out sand paper
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
