just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
