i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
