she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
