the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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