if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
