what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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