I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
