Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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