I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
