We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
