I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
