I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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