You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
