Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
