It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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