she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
