First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
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