Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
