i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
