im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
