Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
