We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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