Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
