we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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