I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
