he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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