You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Screwed.edu
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
