i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
