well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
