If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
