That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
