I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
MIDGETS
????
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
